Life.

"Life is hard; it's harder when you're stupid" - John Wayne

I thought this quote was hilarious, when I first read it, and I couldn't agree with it more. But the more I ponder over it, the more I think stupid people have it easier.

I have so many friends, who are pretty, smart and successful, people I respect in life, who are frequently depressed. I've since came to the conclusion that the smarter you are, the more you're aware of the things you're missing out on, and the more depressed you will be. I guess smarter people feel a greater need to pursue EVERYTHING that they've ever dreamed about, and feel a greater sense of regret when time slips them by...

but I think they're forgetting something: You can't do everything in your life without letting some things go, so you really just have to seize the day (like that oh-so-famous saying "Carpe Diem").

And that's what I've been trying to do. Enjoy my life. Day by day. Let every moment pass me by, remembering the good times, letting the bad times stay in the past.

There are many things in my life that I should be grateful for. But for some reason, there is always something to make it seem not good enough. It could be a traffic citation, a failed experiment, a harsh word from a loved one. And I let myself forget the good things in my life. That I'm pursuing my dream education, that I have such a loving and supportive family, that I'm healthy, that I'm still (relatively) young, that I have the freedom to do whatever I want still! And more and more, I appreciate it. I listen to my friend who feels restricted because she lives now at home in Singapore, after so many years in the states. I listen to my friend who's separated from her bs bf across continents, who's insecure about the relationship. I listen to my friend, who simply just can't seem to find someone to love. I see people who just desperately hang onto a relationship, even though their partners are not that into them....

And I feel that I need to really well erm... seize the day! And if you're reading this blog, you really should be too.

On a slightly different note, I have decided that from today onwards, I shall adopt a new attitude towards my lab work. I've seen too many people make a common mistake, and I have been guilty of it in the past too. Ever get too many ideas you want to work on, and after the initial 5 min of enthusiasm, it sputters and chokes to a standstill? It's easy to do that in the lab. You get this amazing idea, and you try to research on it for a while, and then 10 more ideas come, and you forget the initial idea. I think it's really a waste of time, if you don't follow through. Hence, from this day onwards, whatever idea I get, I shall jot it down into my notebook, and make it a point to follow it through, unless it's no longer feasible at some point.

Also, I have decided that my ideal life, after I'm done with my phd and my bond, would be to either go to law school or just travel and live abroad for short periods of time (1-2 years). I'll always have Singapore as my home, and can go back and forth, but I just really want to be thrown into a completely new environment and learn from it, like how I was when I first came to the states. My first destination will be France, and I hope that I'll be able to travel with my loved one there... and I don't really care what I work as, or how much money I'll make. My ultimate goal is just to learn the french way of life, and learn French fluently. Anyone who's keen, I'll let you know the specific details say 8 years from now. :)

I just don't want to be restricted to one place, and to live my life like that for the rest of my life... now I understand why you travel so much Li'er. :)