Forgiveness

Have you ever been so mad/frustrated/angry at someone and never had the chance to convey this to the person in question for certain reasons, which in turn makes you even angrier? I've had one such experience in the past. My close friend just suddenly dropped off the face of the earth, for his own reasons. But I didn't know that. I remember being so worried for a few weeks, only to hear that he was just avoiding me for his own reasons. In a split second, all the concern erupted into anger. Yet, I could never tell him how I think of him, simply because I can't find him. I could only mellow my anger by bitching and ranting to my friends and family, and even so, that did little to contain my frustration, because the point is "He doesn't f***ing know how mad I am, and how little I think of him!" Thank god I have a very flaky memory when it comes to things like this. After a year or two, I start to forget, bit by bit, until the memory seems to never exist at all. It's been a few years now, and if he never contacted me again, I wouldn't have remembered. But of course he had to contact me, didn't he? He sent me an email recently, asking for my forgiveness. And that it was very immature of him, and he was young and foolish then. All of a sudden, the anger came back. Every molecule of me wished that he never contacted me again! It seems to me a selfish act, cuz he's doing this for his own sake, to make him feel okay with himself. The first thought I had was "there's no way I'm going to forgive this scumbag", but then, the goodness in me wanted me to be more forgiving, call it accumulating good karma. So now I'm torn. But as pissed as before! Sigh, what should I do... :(